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| Artery | The study of fine paintings |
| Bacteria | Back door to cafeteria |
| Barium | What to do if CPR fails |
| Benign | What you are after you be eight |
| Cesarean Section | Some place in Rome |
| CATscan | Looking for kitty |
| Cauterize | Got that purty girl to look at me |
| Colic | A sheep dog |
| Coma | A punctuation mark |
| D & C | Where Washington is |
| Dilate | To live long |
| Enema | Not your friend |
| Fester | Quicker |
| Fibula | A small lie |
| G.I. Series | Baseball games between teams of soldiers |
| Hangnail | What you hang your coat on |
| Impotent | Distinguished, well known |
| Labor Pain | Getting hurt at work |
| Medical Staff | A Doctor's cane |
| Morbid | A higher offer than I bid |
| Nitrates | Lower than day rates |
| Node | Was aware of |
| Outpatient | A person who has fainted |
| Pap Smear | A lie about someone's Pappy |
| Pelvis | Second cousin to Elvis |
| Post Operative | A letter carrier |
| Recovery Room | Place to do upholstery |
| Rectum | Damn near killed him |
| Secretion | Hiding anything |
| Seizure | Roman emperor |
| Tablet | A small table |
| Terminal Illness | Getting sick at the airport |
| Tumor | More than one |
| Urine | Opposite of you're out |
| Varicose Vein | Veins that are very close together |
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