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Childhood
Lessons
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The best place to be
when
you're sad is with your dog.
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Puppies still have
bad breath
even after eating
a Tic-Tac.
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When your mom is mad
at your dad,
don't let her brush your hair.
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No matter how hard
you try, you
can't
baptize cats.
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If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.
They always catch the second person.
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Reading what people write
on desks
can get you through the test.
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Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
You can't hide broccoli in a glass of milk.
School
lunches stick to the wall.
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Don't sneeze when
someone is cutting
your hair.
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A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear
under white shorts.
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Sometimes your best move is
blocked by your own checkers.
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Never say "Last one is a rotten egg"
unless you're absolutely sure someone
is slower than you.
It's impossible to
unlearn a bad word.
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If you want a kitten,
start out by asking for a horse.
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Your room gets smaller as you get bigger.
You can't start over
just because
you're losing the game.
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A snow day is more fun
than a vacation day.
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If you want someone to listen to you,
whisper it.
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All libraries smell the same.
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Sometimes you have to take the test
before you've finished studying.
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You can't trust dogs
to watch your food.
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If you throw a ball
at someone,
they'll probably throw it back.
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Don't nod
on the phone.
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It's easier to see
the mistakes
on someone else's paper.
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